What are some funny and smart quotes?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

What is the scariest thing that ever happened in your life?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

Why can't NASA just bite the bullet and launch a plainly simple mission, audited by flat earther peers start to finish that definitively proves to even the smallest minds that the earth is an oblong spheroid, and not flat?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

Do Marines really not need sleep during combat training or in general? If this is true, how and why is this possible?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”